A First Completed Novel, Finally?

by on September 13, 2019 under , ,

Before I went into hiatus around May 2019, I had actually started on a novel codenamed Project White after being much inspired by the authortuber, Kate Cavanaugh. Had written around 3k plus words but I stopped after feeling all over the place. That novel required a bit more research than I thought I could write.

In returning to Ditinta, I wondered why not instead make life easier for myself? Let's start writing my first novel with that one idea I had for a very long time. More than a decade kept in the back of my mind. I had chucked aside, thinking it was useless, possibly unreadable. I wasn't confident of writing stories in the long format. But now, I want to be brave.

Because well no one is reading the first draft anyways. Besides, I want to be accountable to myself. I did tell myself that I want to write a novel. To be a published author soon, right? If I don't practice writing novels now, then when?

It's an old story idea codenamed Project Torn. I can't really call it a mystery or literary fiction. It has more action in it. Almost like a superhero feel. Almost like a speculative fiction. I hadn't dared to write because I felt I hadn't read enough science fiction or speculative fiction. But then again, does it really matter? Why not just give it a shot? After all, it's a story that's been nagging at me for years. It must be written.

Well then, as a sort of challenge to myself, I hope to share the novel by end of the year.

For me, the first step to approach a story is to outline. Not too detailed. Just enough to get an overview. There will be some parts that I'm not sure until I've written the story out. An outline to me is just a guideline. Not a set piece. Along with that, I'll list out all my characters, settings and any other matters. Again, there will be blanks here and there.

Then nothing else to do but to write. The first draft is to get to know the story first. It will be messy, I know.

And yet, I am very nervous about this. Very nervous.

I tend to overthink things. I wonder if my story will be disliked should I share it online. I can feel the pressure to be good, to edit a lot when I complete the first draft. But then, if it's bad, this novel won't be finished — Ugh, see, I'm already doing it. Overthinking.

Now, now, calm down, me! The story is first and foremost for me. I am my first reader. The best reader. That alone should be enough to motivate me to finish writing the story. I do want to read it! I really do! There is no such story out there quite like this. At least not how I imagine it right now.

And so, this blog post is me keeping myself  accountable in completing my first novel. I'll keep record of the progress here. And compare myself from now to the point of its completion.

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